Friday, July 26, 2013

London calling to the faraway towns

Mr. Canuck and I are heading to England in September and I CANNOT WAIT. We're going primarily for a friend's wedding, but will also be seeing several other friends and bopping around the countryside. I have wanted to go to England for as long as I can remember and I can't quite believe it's really happening.

I recently realized that I am going to be the only American in the group of friends at this particular gathering, so in the spirit of being a good traveler, I've been mentally compiling a list of things I could do to try to fit in and change everyone's ideas of what American tourists are like. Here's what I've come up with:

1. Sing "London Calling" every time we step outside.*
2. Hang around outside Buckingham Palace and ask loudly when we'll get to see the Queen.
3. Try to make the guards crack a smile. (They find that amusing, right?)
4. When we tour the Tower, ask the tour guides, "So you guys still have public executions, right? When's the next one?"
5. Convince my friends to re-create the Abbey Road album cover with me.
6. Take a hammer and chisel with me to Stonehenge so I can hop the fence and grab a souvenir.
7. In Nottingham, ask everyone I see about Robin Hood.
8. Lead everyone in the pub in a rousing rendition of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee."
9. Ask everyone pityingly why they're not yet free of the tyrannical monarchy like us Americans (being very careful not to reveal that I actually live in Canada).
10. Criticize the government in public and freely offer my opinions on why all of their policies are crap, even though  they have zero noticeable effect on my life and also I have no idea what I'm talking about.**

I am quite sure that these tactics will endear me to one and all. The Brits are gonna love me.

*This is the only one I might actually do. I can't resist shit like that. Sorry, everybody.
** This is a great tactic for tourists in the United States too.

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