Monday, February 15, 2010

Waiting for the eastern glow

Greetings, Constant Readers! Since you have probably been waiting all week with bated breath to find out the sex of my baby (no you have not, you liars), I am finally getting my act together to tell you.


The cables for our scanner seem to be missing in action, so for the time being I've just taken pictures of the pictures. Here she is in profile, with helpful descriptions added by me with the help of Microsoft Paint:

And here she is looking straight at you and bearing a frightening resemblance to Skeletor:

I have every reason to believe that she will outgrow her Skeletor phase and come out of the womb as adorable as the day is long. Although, if she doesn't, think of the power she'll have to terrorize the other kids on the playground!

Needless to say, I am thrilled about this, and so is Mr. Canuck (who has started wearing aftershave because he wants to smell like a daddy, which is just so adorable I can hardly stand it). After the initial glee wore off, though, I started panicking. Parents of daughters, how do you do it? Already I am tempted to lock her in a closet on her thirteenth birthday and not let her out until she's 25. How do I stop her from rolling up the skirt of her school uniform until it barely covers her ass, as I see Toronto schoolgirls doing all the damn time? How do I teach her that no matter how much she wants that boy to like her, or how persuasive he is, it is okay and even preferable to say no? How do I give her a moral code that is strong enough to hold up in the outside world? How do I make sure she knows that she can do or be anything she wants, as long as she sticks to her guns? How do I teach her self-respect in a world that seems determined not to let her have any?

Is this what it's like to be a mother? This child is not even born and already I'm terrified that I won't be able to do right by her. All I can do is my best, and what if my best isn't good enough? This is scary, people.

DISCLAIMER: Please do not interpret that paragraph to mean that I'm having second thoughts. I'm not. And I'm pretty sure I'm not going to seriously fuck up my daughter. We all have moments of uncertainty, is all, and I'm indulging in one.

1 comment:

Ren said...

I would ask my 14 year old stepdaughter to provide some information, but she's currently tied up in the storage space under the stairs right now... and the luggage is in the way.

Ask my older stepkid - she's recently been released out into the world and seems to be doing just fine.

A really great friend of ours once said (when asked how he raised such angels - you know the guy).... "I let them live life, provide guidance here and there, then get out of the way."

Your daughter will soak up her surroundings like a sponge. She will have your whimsy. Dad's sensibility. Granny's compassion and spunk. She'll love animals, libraries and nature. She will respect points of view, but have plenty of her own too.

You're going to be a great mom. A really REALLY great mom.